To speak out

It is important to speak out against abuse. It is important to stand up and overcome this monstrosity. But it is vital that you only do so when you feel safe and ready. I am posting this because I know people who have been abused and who feel deep shame right now for not gathering the strength to join the voices of those who are now speaking with such courage against this crime.

In an ideal world, we should all should speak out and fight, and the world should support us. But this is not an ideal world, as proven by the very experience of your abuse. If you feel weak, if you still feel vulnerable, if you are not ready to face the horror again, if the society around you or your personal context do not allow you to speak out right now, please do not feel any pressure. There is no timeline, no deadline for this. Please allow yourself to grow. Allow yourself to be safe. Allow yourself to grown out of the unfortunate context in which you are trapped.

We all know that some of you are caught in countries where to speak could mean to lose your family, your friends or your job. We all know and understand that some of you are caught in abusive situations and relationships which are difficult to break right now. We all trust your instinct, we all support your decision, and we are all waiting with you for the right time to speak out. This has to be the right time for you, not for anyone else.

For some, courage means to speak out and fight. For others, it takes courage merely to survive, to push through one’s depression and fears for one more day. Whatever you do, do so because it helps you, because it heals you, because it makes you a better person. There is no pressure, there is no guilt. You are not betraying anyone, you are not letting anyone down. When the time is right for you to speak, your experience will be just as relevant and useful because, unfortunately, what we see now is merely a crack in the foundation of this evil.

Please seek support, seek help, fight first for your safety – this is essential, and we all understand and support you in this.

I know abuse. I know there is no safe place once it happens. You have my love. You have my prayers.

6 responses

  • In Christ, is the Monastery Running? Do you have monks? Services? Please pray for Father Luke the alcoholic Hieromonk. Pray for Evangelia, Angeliki, Athanasios, Eugene Patritzia, Irene, Ann (all orthodox)
    and Guy, Jimmy, Lorraine, (non-Orthodox)
    I visted Mull some 50 years ago. May Christ Blerss your labors.

    • Dear Gerasimos,

      Please come back – 50 years is a long time, a lot has changed since then. May God bless all the beloved of your heart, and all those who have asked for your prayers. May God bless and help Fr Luke.

      The Monastery is slowly taking shape, thank God. I am alone right now, and I shall only move to Mull permanently after Pascha. The community is in God’s hands – we pray for a nun’s monastery, but everything is (and should be, I pray that is stays like that) in God’s hands. He has led me with such care and wisdom so far – I need to have faith that He will continue to do so.

      Please keep me in your prayers, too. And do come back one day.

  • Another Survivor,
    This is so healing to read, and has the comfort of true wisdom. It calms the shrill screaming the world demands of us. Thank you, thank you!

    • May God bless you. The more we forgive (and personal forgiveness does not necessarily exclude speaking out), the less poison we allow to settle in our hearts. Pray for me, too. Abuse comes in many ways, and no one is safe from it. Yours in Christ, as always.

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